Today is February 13th so that means tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I figured today would be a good day to post something. I’ve been away from Tumblr for far too long and I know everyone misses my amazing blogs so I’m back. This time of year probably sucks for most single people, but it really shouldn’t. Just because someone isn’t having sex with you on a regular basis doesn’t mean there is no one that loves you. I’d like to take a moment and say a few words about everyone that has a special place in my heart. I know I’m going to forget some people so don’t take it the wrong way. Its my bad memory that’s the problem, not our friendship.

Sharir Foreman: I don’t like black people, but I like you…no homo. Ninja power unite.

John Howells: I really don’t like you at all. I love you.

Mary Beth: You’re one of the only people in existence to ever see me cry. <3 <3

Alex Garten: No words need to be spoken. Besties forever.

Rob Weston: EDM, roller coasters, import cars and clubbing. See you in the spring.

Rob McKay: I don’t think I could live without you.

Mom and Dad: Thanks for not kicking me out and loving me even with all the mistakes I’ve made.

Amy Patterson (The greatest sister in the world): I miss you and wish we didn’t live so far apart because you’ve always been one of my best friends.

Winston Diggs: If I could give you a few inches I would. Please visit me.

Josselyn Rojas: You have my number…call me.

Amber DeCosta: You’re wonderful like a cool breeze in the summer time.

Amber and Emily: I’m so glad fate allowed us to meet at Fur nightclub. I didn’t even want to go out that night, but I’m forever grateful that I did.

Dina: We will meet again and you will be mine.

Daniel Pickett: I can’t believe I almost forgot about my brother in New Jersey. Family has to stick together even if we live far from each other.

I’m going end this right here. I can’t think of anyone else right now. I know there’s more so consider this to be part 1. To be continued next year.

This post was created on August 9, 2010.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I simply cannot live without the internet. I’ve been dying for that past couple of days without having access to the internet at home. I’m not including my 3G smartphone because its still not the same as having the internet on an actual computer. What really sucks is that I can’t share my blogs with everyone right now because the Tumblr app is too buggy for me to expect my posts to be posted. So for now I’m going to write these blogs for myself and maybe one day I’ll share them with the rest of the world. For now I’m just going to entertain myself.

This is kind of pathetic. If I’m writing this for myself then why even bother writing it. I could just think about this in my head and I would still be the only person that reads it. I guess I’m doing this because deep down I know that as soon as I have access to the internet that I’m going to post everything that I wrote offline. I’ve never really understood myself. I always considered myself to be anti-social, but I do like going out and partying with people. That doesn’t even make sense. I guess I never really was anti-social, but instead I liked the idea of being anti-social which still makes no sense. Even when I’m talking to myself and I can’t talk about anything of actual relevance to my life.

When I started blogging the whole idea was that all my posts would be insanely hilarious, but as I’ve written more and more posts the more I realize that I’m not actually funny. Every once in a while I say something funny, but the majority of the time I just sound like a retard. My music is playing way too loud right now. I need to pause for a moment and turn it down…….Thats better now. I like Lady Gaga, but she was about to blow up my ear drums. One thing won’t ever change. I easily get side tracked when I’m writing. I should turn all of my posts into a book years from now and try and get it published. It would be titled….actually I have no idea what it would be called. I guess I’ll make it my goal to come up with the title.

Grrrrr….this post sucks bigger balls than usual. Maybe its because I’ve been listening to Lady Gaga this entire time. Note to self: never write while listening to Lady Gaga again. Whats funny is that after I proof read my posts I never read them again. I don’t even remember what I wrote about last time. I have a really bad short term memory. Its good enough that I’m not disabled, but its just really inconvenient. So I’ll never see that note to myself again.

Even though this post may never leave this computer I’m going to write some shout outs anyway. First I would like to say thanks to Albert Hazard for reading my blog. Feel free to promote my blog as much as you want. Sharir Foreman OpenOffice says your name doesn’t exist. Four Loko I love you. John Howells shave off your soul patch. Lady Gaga please dress like a human being. Winston Diggs I guess we’re going to be roommates. And finally Alex Garten please don’t leave me.

So…I’m sitting here typing on my netbook in front of the tv and guess what channel I’m watching? HGTV. I know what you all are thinking. BPat watches that channel??? The truth is that I am so lazy that I won’t reach over to grab my tv remote to change the channel. I guess that says a lot about myself. I’ll take the time to grab my computer and write about what I’m too lazy to do. I guess lazy if the wrong word to use. How do you describe someone that won’t do a simple task, but will do a complicated task?

I just paused for a second and realized that this blog post is more pointless than usual. I guess I’ll talk about my day instead.

I hoped up out my bed…turned my swag on…took a look in the mirror and said what’s up…yeaaaahhhh…I’m getting money…ohhhhhh….And this…right here…is my…pretty boy swag. I know you all liked the way I remixed two of Soulja Boy’s songs together.

My day was actually really boring overall. I woke up just in time to get ready for work and make it in on time. My work day was uneventful. There were no obnoxious customers and no drama between employees. After work I came home and ate some food and took a shower. Then I went out to a bar to meet a few people for a little while. I was only there for about a half hour and then I gave one of my friends a ride home. After that I went back home. On a side note I really need to shave. I guess I’ll do that tonight. That’s all for today. Shout out? Okay!

Rob Weston you are officially my roller coaster riding buddy. Rob McKay I <3 you. Alex Garten I miss your body. Ariel Hormann I want my $10.

PS. I’m horny.

PPS. I did not proof read this so if you made it this far please forgive me.

Do you know who I want to be when I grow up? Billy Dee Williams. Why? Because when people buy a 40 oz malt beverage I want them to see my face on it. Now I know that you’re thinking to yourself “why would BPat want his face to be on the minds of all the alcoholics and drunk hooligans that consume these beverages?” I can’t answer that question because I never think before I write something. I just write whatever comes to my mind and at this very moment I’m thinking of one of the coolest people ever. Billy Dee. Take a moment and think about this question. Who doesn’t like Billy Dee Williams? The answer to that question is no one. Everybody likes him. Now that I’ve got that off my chest let me talk to you about something else.

I’m a heterosexual male. So that means I like vaginas.

That statement deserves its own paragraph. I don’t even know why I wrote that. Sometimes I surprise myself with the nonsense that pops out of my head. This is also my second blog that I’m writing on someone elses computer in someone elses home. I think when I write in different locations it gets my creative juices flowing. Well I’m done writing for tonight so I guess its time for some shout out goodness even though there’s only five people that read my blogs so my shout outs are probably pointless.

I would like to thank Alejo Garten for letting my use his computer tonight. Thank you Rob McKay for faithfully reading my blogs. Brett Harshberger………..hi. Amy Patterson you’re the best sister ever and your red velvet cakes are delightful. And the last shout out is for my closest homie from PA Daniel Pickett. Stay strong ninja and don’t let the man get to you.

I know its been a minute since I wrote a blog post and I was going to formally apologize for disappearing for so long, but then I remembered that my posts are usually random and don’t make much since. So instead I am going to apologize for writing another blog. I am currently wasting both your time and my time by writing this. Now that I’ve gotten my apology out of the way, lets talk about something.

Before I started typing this I told myself that I would finally write a serious blog. Although I already ruined the seriousness of this post with my first paragraph, but I highly suggest you forget what I’ve been writing about for the past few months and pretend like this is the first time you’ve ever read my blog. Clear your mind of all my randomness and pretend like you’ve never heard of BPat before. When your mind is clear I want you to go on to the next paragraph.

I said when your mind is clear. I know its not already so just take a few moments or take an hour if you have to. Just clear your mind of your usual expectations out of one of my blogs.

You’re still not ready

Now you’re ready…Oops. I forgot what I was going to write about. I guess my mind just isn’t capable of being serious. Oh well. At least it helps my life to be less stressful.

PS. I would like to make a shout out to the following people: Rob McKay you are freaking awesome and we should get married someday. Rob Weston I will drink a Four Loko with you anytime. Jada Morgenstern I’m going to steal your boyfriend from you someday so don’t get too attached. Brett’s my lover rawr. Josselyn Rojas you’re beautiful. Alex Garten I’ll miss you so much when you’re gone and I won’t know what to do with myself. Please come back in one piece (alive). Its currently 420am. And last, but not least…Zach Whitaker. I was the one that threw water at you that night, not Alex.

PSS. From now on my blog posts will include shout outs.

Today I hopped up out my bed and turned my swag on. Then I took a look in the mirror and said what’s up. Yeah, I’m getting money…ahhhh. I know what you’re thinking. Why is BPat starting off another one of his awesome blogs with a quote from a Soulja Boy song? I don’t have an answer for that. I just had that song on my mind. Did you also know that I swag and I surf? I’m hungry. I’m sorry for wasting your time for the past minute talking about nothing. I’m good at writing nonsense.